You’re out playing games while lay her decaying.
Posts
There’s no point in living if you aren’t here with me. The only thing keeping me alive is the hope that you will come back. The fear of you being gone forever are the things that keep me close to death. I can’t function. I feel dead inside, until I suddenly feel a desperate need for you to be here. I can’t sleep, because when I try, I can’t stop thinking about what I should say or so to get you back, but nothing will make you come back. I’m starting to lose hope. The small sliver of hope I have left is all but extinguished. I long to feel nothing. I don’t know how to believe in anything anymore. You were my entire world. All the things I had hoped to build in the future were with you. Without you, there is nothing. Darkness.
I can’t sleep. I wish you would come home. Without you here, it isn’t home. It’s like I have no home. I miss you more than I can put into words. It’s like I’m missing part of me. I have so many ideas of how we could work on things. I want to get back to how things were. I know we can do it, if we try. I never should have said you should find your own place, this is your place, here with me. I really need to watch what I say and how I say it, so that I don’t say things that I really don’t mean. I’ve been trying to think more before I say things, so they don’t come off the wrong way. I need to be more considerate of your feelings and thoughts. I miss your smile, and the way you call me “tushy pants” and “cutie girl” and sing your silly little nicknames for me. I even miss how you sing and hum silly songs. I miss talking about music, even when we disagree on it. I miss the way it feels with your arms around me. I miss making you food that you like. I miss watching tv with you, ...
Roscoe did the jump in a circle thing before, and it made me think about how you like it. Fixed the fridge today. Got some more organizing and cleaning done. Organized my clay stuff a little better. Threw some more pieces today. I should enough for the first firing. My dad has the kiln ready for me to fire piees. Going to send my pieces over to fire soon. I hope your day got better, and you can have your problem fixed soon. I had the other half of my salad for dinner. Got groceries. Cleaned the car, and behind the kennels. Had a pretty productive day. Going to make a meal list, and to do list for the week before I got to sleep. Probably going to go to sleep around 10. Call anytime, if I’m sleeping I just won’t notice because it is on vibrate. I miss you. Hope you are taking care of yourself. My mom is still here with me. She said she will stay as long as I need. My dad was here till today, but he has to go to work tomorrow.